April 29, 2010. Thursdays are ridiculous

well, today was horrible. someone ratted to the school that Peanut (won't use real names, ever) and Raptor were messing with me. I'll let you know right now that I'm a pain and attention loving vampiric freak that plays video games. I'll do just about just about anything to get someone to notice me. Well, Raptor is someone that i would let beat me to an inch away from my death. Peanut is just his friend in our class. They got OSS for "bullying", something my school hates. I don't care about myself, so i denied the whole thing. I mean really, if no one else cares, why should I? Living with the darkness is just like living with prayer, you chose you walked and now your being rewarded. Well, i guess i chose it, but i know i let my life slip and now i'm in danger of failing (again) and i'm slowly turning into the whore i let others see me as. I started this blog, hoping to find an outlet, hoping to find a way out of this dark hole i was born in. life....bored with it for now. i've been clean for months now, nothing to bad. recently learned that writing things out would be good for me. i used to write poetry, i'll find some and post it at a later time. for tonight, i'll keep myself at a distance, not really feeling anything right now. diner soon, clam chowder.